TWELVE YEARS AT HARD LABOR

Euna Lee and Laura Ling

I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before some Obamalicious blog demon, or thesaurus-happy Daily Kos protégé, is able to craft a piece that somehow finds a way to blame George W. Bush for this. If not Bush specifically, then certainly the United States in general – or at least the United States as it had been shaped by the war-hungry, right-wing regime that preceded the Messianic Age.

Either way, now may be the perfect time for the President of the United States to finally sit down with North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il – as he has said he would be thrilled to do as the anti-Bush President – and kick it around a bit. After all, two American journalists have been sentenced in North Korea – for crimes unspecified – to twelve years of hard labor. It is now the President’s job to find out what these two reporters have to done to anger Kim Jong Il and exactly what the United States must do to keep Mr. Jong Il from getting any angrier.

Blaine Harden from the Washington Post writes:

Laura Ling and Euna Lee, television reporters detained in March along North Korea’s border with China, received harsher sentences than many outsiders had expected. But several experts in South Korea predicted that talks will begin soon to negotiate their release.

The U.S. government said it was “deeply concerned.”

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has stated that the United States is thinking – I say, thinking – of returning North Korea to the “blacklist” of terrorist nations.

A bold move.

Whether the United States is also considering calling Kim Jong Il a bad name or threatening to never allow North Korea a seat on the United Nations’ Human Rights Council is unclear.

(Reports of high-level State Department officials referring to Kim Jong Il as “a meanie” cannot be confirmed).

On possibly putting North Korea back on the list of nations that sponsor terrorism – and in responding to a group of Senators who have requested that the Obamacrats do so – Senator Clinton said, “Well, we’re going to look at it … There’s a process for it. Obviously we would want to see recent evidence of their support for international terrorism.”

This is why Democrats cannot be trusted with national security.

North Korea was already on that list. They were removed for promising to make concessions regarding their nuclear program – which they clearly have not followed through on. What precisely does Mrs. Clinton need to see that would convince her that North Korea should be returned to that list? What further “evidence” is required?

She probably refuses to jump to any Bush-era “Axis of Evil” conclusions.

Meanwhile, the trial of Ling and Lee went off with a hitch … apparently.

The five-day trial of Ling and Lee was held in Pyongyang’s Central Court, the top court in North Korea. Outside observers were not allowed.

“The trial confirmed the grave crime they committed against the Korean nation and their illegal border crossing,” the official Korean Central News Agency said. It said the court sentenced “each of them to 12 years of reform through labor.”

The “grave crime,” however, was not explained. The reporters had earlier been accused of unspecified “hostile acts.” Legal analysts in South Korea said the North Korean court may have sentenced the women to the maximum of 10 years of hard labor for hostile acts and added on two years for illegal entry.

The detention and sentencing of the two journalists has coincided with — and become entangled in — a series of provocative acts by North Korea that this spring have angered its neighbors, its historical allies and much of the world.

Long range missile firings and nuclear weapon tests aside, if President Obama can find out which motion pictures are personal favorites of Mr. Jong Il, and then house them in an attractive display case, the United States can come to the negotiation table with a leg up. Bam can even throw in an autographed copy of his book, an audio library of his best teleprompter reads and strict assurances that the United States will never, ever do anything to provoke or irritate North Korea.

As Blaine Harden of the Washington Post writes:

In the past, North Korea has released Americans who have entered the country illegally. The government also has a history of brinkmanship, turning confrontation and bluster into negotiations that reward it with food, fuel and other concessions.

The two incarcerated journalists work for Current TV – a cable network led by former Vice President Al Gore that probably trails the Belly Button Lint Network in terms of viewership. 

And although not asked to do so – and with no prompting from the studio audience – family members of both of these journalists have offered public apologies to North Korea for whatever “crimes”  they may have committed.

Why?

Because evil dictators always take into account the heartfelt pleas of suffering Americans when conducting their affairs.

Up to this point, Mr. Gore has been silent on the matter, but there is speculation that he could go to North Korea himself to handle negotiations for the journalists’ release.

Whether or not he will help save the Earth by using a hybrid to get to North Korea is unclear.

The truth is … I pray for both of these women to return home safely and quickly.

I sincerely do.

After a series of “Hey, look at me! I’m important!” gestures on the part of North Korea, most agree that at some point soon these journalists will be released as part of yet another “deal” struck between the United States and North Korea.

Al Gore would, indeed, be perfect for that.

Lord knows, he’s had enough practice apologizing to the trees and sky for how horrible humanity has treated them.

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