Roman Around

combating liberalism and other childish notions

Posts Tagged ‘ICE’

WHERE CAN I SIGN UP TO BE AN ILLEGAL?

Posted by Andrew Roman on June 12, 2010

If the concept of the “sanctuary city” isn’t enough to convince illegals that the United States isn’t particularly serious about enforcing its immigration laws, how about illegal alien detention centers offering art and cooking classes? Or dance instruction? Or bingo?

What says, “Hey, you’re breaking the law!” better than movie nights and fresh vegetable bars?

After all, if locking up illegal aliens cannot be pleasant, entertaining and convenient – complete with free e-mail and phone service – why bother doing it at all?

From the Houston Chronicle:

Immigration and Customs Enforcement officials are preparing to roll out a series of changes at several privately owned immigration detention centers, including relaxing some security measures for low-risk detainees and offering art classes, bingo and continental breakfast on the weekends.

The changes, detailed in an internal ICE e-mail obtained by the Houston Chronicle, were welcomed by immigrant advocates who have been waiting for the Obama administration to deliver on a promise made in August to overhaul the nation’s immigration detention system.

The 28 changes identified in the e-mail range from the superficial to the substantive. In addition to “softening the look of the facility” with hanging plants and offering fresh carrot sticks, ICE will allow for the “free movement” of low-risk detainees, expand visiting hours and provide unmonitored phone lines.

And, lucky us, it’s going to happen at taxpayer expense.

Tre Rebstock, president for Local 3332, the ICE union in Houston, likened the changes to creating “an all-inclusive resort” for immigration detainees.

Rebstock also questioned the cost to taxpayers for the changes.

“My grandparents would have loved to have bingo night and a dance class at the retirement home they were in when they passed away, but that was something we would have had to pay for,” he said. “And yet these guys are getting it on the taxpayers’ dime.”

Lory Rosenberg of Refugee and Migrants’ Rights for Amnesty International says the changes “will go some way to making this system less penal.”

How nice.

Because the last thing anyone wants is for illegal aliens in an illegal alien detention center to have to be subjected to anything penal.

How about unlimited internet access for the detainees? Or weekly group treks to Applebees for French onion soup? Or massage therapy? Or laptops?

Why not offer the male detainees thrice-weekly visits with a prostitute as well? After all, even illegal aliens have needs.
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