Roman Around

combating liberalism and other childish notions


Posted by Andrew Roman on May 10, 2010

The threat is nonexistent. It is inconceivable that a band of disgruntled sword-swinging Jesus-loving zealots would exact their revenge against those who would portray Christ in a less-than-godly light. The possibility of retribution is so infinitesimal – if that – that there is not a scintilla of worry, fear, apprehension or trepidation among those who would create entertainment that depicts Jesus Christ in a non-flattering, or decidedly insulting, manner.

Why would there be?

Christians do not threaten violence at offensive and insolent characterizations of Jesus, nor do they demand that others adhere to their beliefs and practices. Those who convince themselves that the cutting edge of comedy is at its sharpest and most relevant when Christianity is the target will not have to look over their shoulders for cross-bearing throat-cutters or under their cars for explosive devices.

It is the reality.

And so it is that one of the latest projects in the works at the ever-courageous Comedy Central Network is a cartoon about a “regular guy” who moves to New York to get out from under his father’s “enormous shadow.”

It’s called “JC.”

The “regular guy” in question is Jesus Christ, and his dad is God.

I’m laughing already.

Where do these provocateurs come up with their ground-breaking ideas?

This is the same network that decided against airing a scene from the program “South Park” depicting Muhammed in a bear costume for fear of being targeted by Islamist terrorists … although that wasn’t the official explanation.

Something about not wanting to offend people, blah, blah, blah …

Yet, the new Jesus project is said to be in development.

David Bauder of the Associated Press writes:

(JC’s) father is presented as an apathetic man who would rather play video games than listen to his son talk about his new life, according to Comedy Central’s thumbnail sketch of the idea. Reveille, the production company behind “The Office,” “Ugly Betty” and “The Biggest Loser,” is making “JC.”

It wouldn’t be the first time Jesus Christ has been on a Comedy Central cartoon; he’s a recurring character on the long-running “South Park.”

Whenever “South Park” features Muhammad in an episode, Comedy Central obscures the character with a black box; Muslims consider any physical representation of their prophet to be blasphemous. Following the Internet threat, Comedy Central angered “South Park” producers by editing out a character’s speech about intimidation in a subsequent episode.

“It’s not certain what is more despicable: the nonstop Christian bashing featured on the network, or Comedy Central’s decision to censor all depictions of Muhammad,” said William Donohue, president of the Catholic League for Civil and Religious Rights, on Thursday.

Comedy Central wouldn’t comment on Donohue’s statement, said network spokesman Tony Fox, who declined to give further details about “JC.”

From a personal perspective, what is most frustrating of all is the fact that all of the ideas I have submitted to Comedy Central for an exciting new cartoon series will never be considered.

One idea I had was a cartoon called “Dr. Jihad and Mr. Hyde.” It was the story of a young man torn between his love for the environment and his desire to blow up American school children. While his inclination is to pursue a life of environmental activism, each morning the hilarity ensues as Muhammed appears in his bathroom on a bar of Irish Spring soap, commanding him to slit the throats of local second graders.

It’s nonstop madcap hijynx.

Another idea I had was a series called “All In The Fatwah” – the story of the generation gap between Muhammed and one of his child brides, set in the early 7th century in a suburb of Mecca. The premise is that while Muhammed is out trying to bring the world to Allah, he still has to come home every night and contend with a wife who is barely old enough to dress herself.

It’s comedy gold.

Meanwhile, Muhammed’s daughter (from another wife) moves in with her Christian husband, much to the chagrin of Muhammed. Muhammed refers to him as “Falafel-Head.”

The possibilities are endless.

Yet another idea I had was insprired by Elton John’s recent assertion that Jesus Christ was gay. It was a story of conflicting value systems set in an artsy section of Medina, called “Muhammed’s Rainbow.”

There were a few others, but I haven’t really developed them yet.


Maybe HBO will give some of my ideas a shot.

Oh wait, they have Bill Maher.

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