Roman Around

combating liberalism and other childish notions


Posted by Andrew Roman on February 15, 2010

Remember when HE had a holiday?

I know I’m never going to get anywhere if I hold back. I realize that I will never be able to sufficiently make my point if I decide to proceed with restraint on this matter. And while I am all for a federal holiday in February – never let it be said that I ever spit on a “day off” – today’s sham of a holiday is just about as disgraceful and embarrassing as anything that has happened in this nation since the television show AfterMASH.

This hoax of a holiday – this swindle of a commemoration – known as President’s Day is an unadulterated fraud.

It is as phony as an Obama speech, as bogus as Keanu Reeves’ acting ability, and as meaningless as a teacher’s union.

This inconsequential and feckless day – marked by linen sales, bedroom set closeouts and no-money-down car bonanzas – is this nation’s most worthless “holiday” of the year … and I use the word only because federal offices are closed and public schools are out of session.

National Breast Implant Day is far more relevant.

Presidents Day means absolutely nothing. It is a bad joke told by an unfunny comedian in scarcely visited club in a neighborhood where alcohol is banned. There is nothing – repeat, nothing – remotely noteworthy about this day. It is an all-encompassing, generic weekend-extender that invokes nothing in the minds of Americans other than, “What time should I get out bed?” and “Is today the day of the buy-one-get-one-free box spring sale at Bedding Barn?”

Two points to make here…

First, I realize that I am in the minority on this one, but “weekend extender” holidays bug the hell out of me. I am of the mind that a nation’s holidays are meant to be significant and have special meaning to them. These days exist not for the purpose of giving people an extra day away from work, but to observe something consequential.

Christmas, for instance, always falls on December 25th, regardless of the day of the week, just as Independence Day always falls on July 4th. These holidays are not bumped to the closest Monday so that a three-day weekend can be constructed. It otherwise belittles the importance of the day.

I understand that there are “set Monday” holidays – like Memorial Day and Labor Day – but I’m not referring to those. I’m talking about events that have fixed dates.

If, for example, Martin Luther King, Jr. was born on January 15th – which, incidentally, he was – then celebrations of his birthday should not be diminished to “three-day-weekend-maker” status by shoving it to the third Monday in January. If, God forbid, his birthday should fall on a weekend, well then, that’s just too bad. Deal with the fact that you’re just going to have to go to work on Monday.

Second, how dare the powers-that-be cram all Chief Executives into one off-the-rack, all-inclusive, blanket holiday of no significance.

Presidents Day?

Are you kidding me?

Why not Senators Day? Or Judges Day? Or Congressional Page Day?

James Buchanan is deserving of a one-day federal office shutdown? Jimmy Carter, that colossal failure of a president, by virtue of the fact that he won an election, is to be honored with a federal holiday? Franklin Pierce, a name most Americans have never even heard of, is to be lionized today?

This time of year used to be reserved for the one holiday this country should be embarrassed is officially off the books – Washington’s Birthday.

Remember that one?

You’ll find it listed between “Waking Up And Smelling the Coffee” and “Wondering What The Hell Is Happening To My Country” in the All-American Almanac.

It still boggles the mind that this man – the Father of Our Country, Hero of the War for Independence, First President of the United States, arguably the greatest American of them all – does not have a specific holiday honoring him.

The nation’s capitol is named for him.

There is an entire state that bears his name.

There are more school districts, elementary schools, streets, townships and counties named after him than any other American who has ever lived – and rightly so.

Yet, the United States of America doesn’t officially celebrate George Washington’s Birthday anymore.

As monumentally politically incorrect as this will sound – and I’m willing to take on any and all attacks for wording it this way – how can there exist a national holiday for Martin Luther King, Jr. (deservedly so, incidentally), but not for George Washington? That Washington’s Birthday has been wiped from the calendar and replaced with a homogenized perversion known as Presidents Day is a travesty of the highest order. There is an entire month dedicated to black history, itself an outdated sham of a commemoration, but there is nothing – not a single day – honoring America’s most extraordinary hero of them all. Instead, in the name of whatever latest political correctness is crippling sane-minded thought and common-sense, we have Presidents Day.

I’d say, “What a joke,” but I’m truly angry about this.

Drop this counterfeit “celebration” and make February 22nd a national holiday, as it should be.

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