Roman Around

combating liberalism and other childish notions

GEEZERS OUT OF CONTROL

Posted by Andrew Roman on January 21, 2010

Brooklyn's own Steve Pulwers

Many of America’s seniors are among our most vulnerable citizens. Many are defenseless against the ravages of violent crime. Stories of physical attacks perpetrated on the elderly can be disturbing and frightening. One can only begin to try and understand how someone could assault an eighty-three year old man over something like a parking space.

Think about that for a moment – the notion of beating on an eighty-three year old man over a lousy parking space.

Even in a city like New York, where parking spaces are coveted more than gold bricks, pounding an old man with an object like a metal steering wheel lock seems way over the top.

But let’s say, for instance, the eighty-three year old man was not the victim , but rather, the attacker.

And just to add a little spice to this story, let’s the say the victim was, too, an elderly man.

And to make it even more interesting, let’s say the victim was 99 years old.

What would you think then?

Probably that you must be in Brooklyn, New York.

From the New York Post:

Call ’em the fighting fogies.

An angry 83-year-old brawler beat a 99-year-old man old with a metal steering-wheel lock in Brooklyn in a fight over parking, authorities said yesterday.

The geriatric dust-up happened at 2:10 p.m. Monday across the street from Maimonides Hospital in Borough Park, when Gersh Gofman, 83, of Sheepshead Bay, pulled his car in front of the driveway outside Steve Pulwers’ house. Pulwers, who’s just two months shy of 100 and lives above a doctor’s office, said he was putting out the trash and knocked on Gofman’s window when the doctor returned for an emergency call and couldn’t get into the driveway.

“The doctor honked the horn, one, two, three, four times,” Pulwers told The Post. “I say, ‘Gentleman, the doctor wants to go into the garage.’ He did not answer. He then got out and takes a metal tool and hits me. He knocked me to the ground.”

Pulwers, a retired Manischewitz wine-factory employee, said Gofman pinned him to the ground with his knees. The near-centenarian said he was helpless, and tried to use his coat to defend himself.

“I hit him in the leg with my coat like a little fly,” he said.

Gofman, who hadn’t said a word up to that point, then threatened Pulwers in Russian.

“He said he was going to send somebody to cut off my balls,” Pulwers said.

That’s 182 years of raw, untamed, unbridaled manhood scuffling in the street like that.

All Pulwers did was ask Gofman to move his car so the doctor could get into his driveway. I can only imagine what Gofman would do if he were asked to remove his hat in a movie theater. Shove an ice pick in someone’s eye?

I don’t think I’ve ever heard an old man threaten to cut off the balls of another old man.

I just never seem to be around when these types of things happen.

Mr. Pulwers must be in extraordinary shape. He was born four years before World War I, was knocked to the sidewalk, pinned down by a mad Russian (himself born two years before the Stock Market Crash of 1929), and apparently is none the worse for it, save for a few bruises.

I suppose if thug geezers are going to throw down in the street, where else to do it but in front of a hospital?

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