Roman Around

combating liberalism and other childish notions

IRAN’S WHACK JOB SAYS USA IS BLOCKING SAVIOR

Posted by Andrew Roman on December 8, 2009

It isn’t exactly clear how Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad found out about it, but the United States has got to do a better job concealing these things. Somehow the Iranian madman has acquired verification that America has been actively blocking the return of humankind’s savior (according to Muslims), the Mahdi. Ahmadinejad claims he has “documented proof” that the United States is keeping the prophesized redeemer of Islam from the rest of the world.

My first reaction is, “Damn, how the hell did he found out?”

My second reaction is, “Do the white sleeves of his jacket not reach all the way around to the back?”

There is clearly a dangerous breech in the heart of America’s national security complex, because this isn’t the first time the United States has been caught with its pants around the ankles.

For example, when it came out that the real Santa Claus was discovered and abducted by crack Army commandos in 1925 and brought back to Camp Elfwood where he was tragically killed during a freak reindeer exercise, America lost some of her innocence.

Kringlegate became a household word. Only the Great Depression delivered America from her four-year long Yuletide nightmare.

Now this.

From Fox News:

“We have documented proof that they believe that a descendant of the prophet of Islam will raise in these parts and he will dry the roots of all injustice in the world,” Ahmadinejad said during a speech on Monday, according to Al Arabiya (a television news station based in Dubai).

“They have devised all these plans to prevent the coming of the Hidden Imam because they know that the Iranian nation is the one that will prepare the grounds for his coming and will be the supporters of his rule,” Ahmadinejad was quoted as saying.

Ahmadinejad continued the rant by claiming there have been plots by both the West as well as countries in the East to wipe out his country, according to Iranian news Web site Tabak.

Mr. Happy Pants went on to say that when it comes to Afghanistan, the United States is much like an animal in a quagmire.

I suppose that puts us in our place.

Just curious … Who is the “they” that have developed “these plans?” Democrats? Republicans? Embittered Jews? Resentful Christians? And how was the Mahdi prevented from coming exactly?

And will the rest of us ever get a chance to see the evidence?

I have to be believe this was more of a George W. Bush initiative than a Barack Obama one. There’s no way this president would have ever gotten permission from Ahmadinejad to keep the savior under wraps.

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