Roman Around

combating liberalism and other childish notions


Posted by Andrew Roman on October 24, 2009


The greatest casualties in the age of global warming hysteria are satire and parody. That which divides spoof and reality has been so blurred in recent times, particularly in relation to the global warming hoax, that it isn’t possible to differentiate between the two without having to investigate. Even before President Obama signs the Global Climate Change Treaty in Copenhagen in December, the extremity with which today’s global warming crusaders operate is already proving to be a bane to the economy. Think of all the comedy writers out of work. 

If the concept of carbon credits wasn’t demented enough; if the notion of a carbon footprint didn’t have you checking your Pepsi for hallucinogens; if the idea that “global warming leads to global cooling” doesn’t have you making sure you aren’t reading The Onion, then please take a moment to check this one out.

The nation of Sweden is looking to take the lead with a brand new initiative designed to combat the terrors of global warming.

(And that’s exactly what humanity needs: another way to make the world safer from greenhouse gas emissions).

Elisabeth Rosenthal from the New York Times explains:

Shopping for oatmeal, Helena Bergstrom, 37, admitted that she was flummoxed by the label on the blue box reading, “Climate declared: .87 kg CO2 per kg of product.”

“Right now, I don’t know what this means,” said Ms. Bergstrom, a pharmaceutical company employee.

But if a new experiment here succeeds, she and millions of other Swedes will soon find out. New labels listing the carbon dioxide emissions associated with the production of foods, from whole wheat pasta to fast food burgers, are appearing on some grocery items and restaurant menus around the country.

People who live to eat might dismiss this as silly. But changing one’s diet can be as effective in reducing emissions of climate-changing gases as changing the car one drives or doing away with the clothes dryer, scientific experts say.

Yes, you read that correctly: Sweden is placing CO2 emissions information on food labels.

(That sound you heard was the sound of a thousand satirists slamming their laptops closed and throwing their hands up in frustration, realizing they cannot compete with reality)

Note the term Rosenthal uses in her piece: “climate changing gasses.”

Presumably, the goal of these obsessed global warming wingnuts is to aspire to an environment that consists of one constant temperature and unvarying weather patterns. But what, pray tell, is the correct temperature? The correct climate?

(Still waiting for an answer to that one)

Some of the proposed new dietary guidelines, released over the summer, may seem startling to the uninitiated. They recommend that Swedes favor carrots over cucumbers and tomatoes, for example. (Unlike carrots, the latter two must be grown in heated greenhouses here, consuming energy.)

They are not counseled to eat more fish, despite the health benefits, because Europe’s stocks are depleted.

Pickle eaters and ketchup enthusiasts will be the death of us all.

If one could go back in time, say fifty years, and tell the people of that long-gone era some of things that the future holds – like smoking being outlawed in privately owned bars; certain cooking oils being banned in privately owned restaurants; labels on our store bought food listing CO2 emission levels – those people would look at you as if a family of pulsating goiters were living on your neck.

But wait, it gets better. Read some of the commentary from New York Times readers on the matter. (None of these are made up):

– It is funny, it almost seems like magic when you start to realize what a world can be like without capitalism… They actually care about the environment and their people.

– Once again a Scandinavian country is leading the way. Do others have the fortitude to follow?

– They are so far ahead of us in understanding the interconnectedness of all things. A role model if ever there was one.

– Yes, the Swedes are way ahead of us and setting the standard for eating that is both healthy for your body and your world.

– From the rapacious, civilization destroying Viking raiders to the present enlightened Scandinavians, these people are amazing.

“The environment and their people?”

“The Fortitude to follow?”

“A role model if there ever was one?”

What, pray tell, was the size of the carbon footprint left behind by the Nobel Prize ceremonies in neighboring Denmark? And what will the footprint look like after all the leaders of the world fly to Copenhagen in December to discuss the ravages of global warming? And if beans are to replace beef, as the article suggests, what about the increase of o-zone destroying flatulence that is sure to come from the cows that are left uneaten, not to mention the ever-growing population of bean eating humans?

Perhaps the solution is in eliminating Sweden altogether. That ought to knockout a tasty chunk of those greenhouse gases.

I’m curious … if every computer model in all of human existence is predicting disaster for the Earth due to global warming, why didn’t a single model predict the cooling trends that have taken place over the past several years across the globe? Or the expanding ice at either pole?

Personally, the climate police (and everyone bending over for them) can provide whatever information they wish on any package, any menu, or any pamphlet they so choose. My concerns will be with the price and how tempting the food sounds. For all I care, it can be transported by a fleet of gas guzzling Hummers. If it sounds good to me, I’m buying it.

Oh yeah, one other thing … there is not one stitch of scientific evidence – not an electron’s worth – that supports the argument that increasing C02 levels cause temperatures to rise.

Not one.

I wonder … how did that Ice Age get chased away without a backlog of traffic on the Long Island Expressway spitting out CO2 into the atmosphere?

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