KEITH-O HAS GOT TO GO
Posted by Andrew Roman on September 14, 2009
With the New York Mets being the unmitigated disaster they have been this year, the bulk of my sporting life attention has shifted to football. Thus, on a personal level, yesterday was nothing short of a wonderful day for a variety of reasons, not the least of which was the opening of the National Football League season (Thursday’s game not withstanding). My wife and I spent the entire afternoon watching both New York teams walk away with victories. We relaxed, snacked, screamed at the TV when necessary, and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. It was a lot of fun, to be sure – although I’m not sure what in the world possessed me to pick Miami over Atlanta. (That’s a separate issue).
Anyway, as a fitting nightcap to an already splendid day of laziness, chicken wings and delicious violence, we thought we would tune in and watch the Sunday night game on NBC. It featured the game’s all-time rivalry, the Green Bay Packers and the Chicago Bears – a tradition that is eclipsed only by the time-space continuum itself.
However, what had been a glorious Sunday of gridiron goodness almost immediately descended into the depths of broadcasting hell the moment we landed on NBC.
Like unexpectedly hearing the voice of Nancy Pelosi, or being diagnosed with a severe intestinal blockage, it ambushed us.
Like a passing afternoon Florida thunderstorm, or liberal sensibility, it came from nowhere, and we were wholly unprepared.
It was both frightening and spellbinding.
It was … Keith Olbermann.
(cue scary music, thunder)
My wife looked at me as if her bungee chord has just snapped.
I immediately grabbed the first thing I could find when his snarky voice assaulted my ears, although I’m not sure why.
Confusion took hold.
We couldn’t help but shudder in those first moments when our senses and coherence were thrown into transitory chaos. Time seemed to freeze for a moment. A heavy darkness descended upon our little living room on Staten Island’s South Shore like an anvil hones in on a Warner Brothers cartoon character.
When I finally regained my equilibrium, with Olbermann’s voice still seeping from my TV’s speakers. my instincts commanded me to save my family. I hastily prepared to remove my children from the home and gather essentials. I even glanced at the phone in a panic, deciding whether or not to call 9-1-1. Throwing something large and heavy through the TV screen somehow seemed appropriate for a fleeting instant.
Fortunately, I managed to find the “channel up” button on my remote before our lives were turned upside-down.
Things slowly returned to normal.
Keith had been removed.
Once oxygen levels had stabilized in my blood stream – and my wife had gone to bed tremendously distressed – I decided I needed to sit myself down and comment on the fact that this former-sports-yacker-turned-liberal-nutbag was on my TV screen in my house talking football. Sure, I knew Olbermann used to be a sports guy in a previous life, but that train has long since been dismantled. He doesn’t do sports anymore. He makes his bones as a raging lunatic leftist kook. Despite what he used to do in his early days, he is currently synonymous with far left politics. He long ago ditched his sardonic sports desk persona to become an angry liberal windbag who throws things at the camera and calls it witty analysis. Like toe jam, ear wax, and that thing that’s been in back of the refrigerator since Saint Swithin’s last birthday, it is incalculably disgusting that such a dreadful little man – who is as hateful as he is uninteresting – is an NFL commentator with NBC.
He is one of the most detestable human beings in media today – not just controversial or provocative – but a mudslinging, unintelligent boob; and the fact that he is given the opportunity to show his mug on NBC’s Sunday Night Football is literally enough for me to turn the channel and not bother coming back until I know the game has started.
I know I am not alone.
(Advertisers need to pay close attention here).
Olbermann is not just your garden variety, Obama-is-our-savior, big-government liberal – like Bob Costas, for instance. Rather, Olbermann is a lying dirt bag of a man who constantly spews outright slanderous nonsense about those he doesn’t like. He is not a journalist in any sense of the word. He doesn’t substantiate his bogus claims and he lives on personal attacks. He is a spoiled brat, angry, liberal ass-kissing cowardly smear-merchant who will never debate those who oppose him. His ratings on MSNBC’s Countdown are horrific, his reasonability is nonexistent, and his clever Dennis-Miller-wannabe “smart guy” shtick is tired and tedious.
He needs to leave the NFL behind. NBC needs to boot him from Sunday Night Football.
Obviously, I don’t want him censored. Only government can censor.
Rather, NBC needs to know that there are many Americans who want this serial basher of conservatives (perhaps half of their market share, if not more) off the air.
There are plenty of uncontroversial football kibitzers who can do his job on NBC’s Sunday night pre-game and halftime shows – and far better.
Let them know.
Via E-Mail, write: firstname.lastname@example.org
By snail mail, write:
National Broadcasting Company, Inc.
30 Rockefeller Plaza
New York, NY
Let the countdown to dismissal begin.
Back to the MSNBC troll nook with him.