Roman Around

combating liberalism and other childish notions

BUT IF THAT WAS A REPUBLICAN …

Posted by Andrew Roman on June 1, 2009

bam-a-lang-a-ding-dong bam fans

bam-a-lang-a-ding-dong bam fans

From the “If This Were A Republican” file …

As hard as this may be to believe, I was  not in Manhattan on Saturday to become one of the fawning, adoring, saliva-dripping periphery going ga-ga over Obama’s big “date night” in New York. I did not grab my digital camera and home-made “You Barrack My World” sign, head into the city and stand behind a barricade for hours so that I might catch a glimpse of his  right ear as he passed into a restaurant.

It is hard to believe, I know.

Alas, I admit to being a stick in the mud – completely unimpressed, quick-to-yawn and bored to tears when it comes to the mania that surrounds Big Bam.

I find yogurt more culturally enticing – and easier to stomach.

Indeed, I was in the city on Saturday, but not because I hoped to become one of the fortunate ones afforded the opportunity to share the same oxygen stream with him. My wife and I actually had a wonderful lunch with some friends of ours at Carmine’s on 44th Street, several hours before the royal family arrived for dinner and a show. To be perfectly honest, I was unaware that Mr. and Mrs. Messiah would be in town – although the sound of air force jets and presidential helicopters should have alerted me to his arrival, along with the thuds of fainting Manhattanites.

For the record, I’d like to say that I couldn’t give a squirrel’s nostril if the President comes to New York to see a show. He’s entitled. It isn’t as if he can just pop into his Subaru with the Missus and head up to New York for supper and a Broadway play. At the first rest stop on the New Jersey Turnpike, he’d be crushed by frenzied, orgasmic Obama-maniacs looking for a piece of his clothing or a bite of his waffle. A President with torn threads, covered in spit-dripping kisses is probably not a good thing.

What fascinates me more is trying to imagine the coverage of a Presidential New York City “date night” had the Commander-In-Chief been a Republican.

Depending on which day you catch Obama and his dancing Obamacrats, the economy is either the worst it has been since the Great Depression (or worse), or it is finally coming around thanks to his astronomical spending sprees, debt creation and overall Marxist tweaking.

Either way, Obama has himself covered.

Recall last week when Obama told a group of self-gratifying Hollywood lefties at a big bucks fundraiser that conditions are starting to improve economically across the country. His spendulous bill, he insisted, is starting to show some returns – and coincidentally enough, just before his big date in the Big Apple.

Far be it from me to deny anyone a night out on the town – especially the leader of the almost-free world.

Go ahead, take a break, Mr. President. You deserve it. A relaxing getaway to New York is more than reasonable. After all, infusing Marxism into a free market system can be taxing.

Picture Republican George W. Bush hand-in-hand with Laura Bush, emerging from a limo in the heart of Manhattan’s Greenwich Village for dinner before zooming uptown to catch a Broadway show, while news stories circulate on how the unemployment rate is approaching double-digits. Can you imagine the brutal beating he would take in the press had he gone on a Big Apple “date night” on the taxpayer’s dime while Katie Kouric and company tell us all about the endless number of Americans being hammered by what was not too long ago “the worst economy ever?”

People are losing their homes in this economy, and Bush is eating out?”

“How could that out-of-touch, insensitive, bible-thumping, oil company-loving, fascist, baby-killing Bush flaunt his power and prestige by seeing a Broadway play at the taxpayer’s expense when billions and billions of Americans are homeless and starving?”

Thanks to the coming of the new Messianic Age, we need not bother with such conjecture.

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One Response to “BUT IF THAT WAS A REPUBLICAN …”

  1. Proof said

    “I couldn’t give a squirrel’s nostril if the President comes to New York to see a show”.

    Wrong rodent, wrong orifice, correct sentiment! Heh.

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