Roman Around

combating liberalism and other childish notions

THE HOUSE MOVES FAST – NIX TO CHIMPS AS PETS

Posted by Andrew Roman on February 24, 2009

time to get a cat, mikey

time to get a cat, mikey

No one can tackle the toughest societal quandaries like a Democrat-controlled House of Representatives. They don’t monkey around … or chimp around … or ape around. (I promise, Mr. Sharpton, I am not conjuring up images of black people here).

I’m not sure exactly why the approval ratings of the United States Congress are as low as they are – especially with the breakneck efficiency they have been operating under since The One took over at the White House – but ladies and gentlemen, quicker than you can ask, “Is that a monkey in your living room or are you just glad to see me,” the Captive Primate Safety Act is that much closer to being the law of the land. (Let your cerebral fanfare bellow out across the fruited plane).

And while there was no signaling white smoke billowing from the Capitol Building chimney to indicate to the world that the bill had actually cleared its first hurdle, a young page was said to be seen ceremoniously tossing bananas from the roof.

The House of Representatives was clearly not fooling around. There was no time to waste. (They were probably told to treat this bill as an Obama stimulus package). By a vote of 323 to 95, with America still in the grip of chimp chatter, and monkey-talk still dominating blogs everywhere, the House passed a bill that puts an end to the interstate commerce of primates for private domestic use.

In short, no more monkeys as pets.

It is a new day in America.

Ben Smith at the Politico writes:

“There is no reason for any private citizen to keep a primate as a pet, and this trade is driven by unscrupulous dealers who sell primates across state lines for thousands of dollars,” said Wayne Pacelle, president and CEO of The HSUS (Humane Society of the United States). “Congressional action on this animal welfare and public safety issue will complement our efforts at the state level to dry up the trade and the practice of private ownership of chimps and other primates.”

I have absolutely no problem with the legislation, nor with the Humane Society.

It’s just that with a bill of such historic proportions clearing the House – and surely on its way to easy passage in the Senate before getting the Bam seal of approval – it’s hard to truly appreciate what a triumphant first month its been under the Obamacrats.

Couple this monkey bill with the extra $13 a week Americans will be getting as handouts- er, tax cuts – thanks to Obama’s crapulous spending bill, and it is, indeed, morning in America once again.

Or is that “mourning?”

In other news, rock and roll pioneer Chuck Berry was asked earlier today what the hell he was thinking when he wrote the 1956 classic “Too Much Monkey Business.”

Mickey Dolenz and Peter Tork were also picked up for questioning, but were soon released when they explained that the 60s pop group they were members of spelled ‘Monkee” with an extra “e.”

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