Roman Around

combating liberalism and other childish notions


Posted by Andrew Roman on February 21, 2009


Because Vice President Joe Biden hadn’t said anything uncommonly obtuse in a couple of days (as of Thursday morning), I took a few minutes to scour news sites and blogs to be sure he wasn’t ill or out of the country. Admittedly, Biden media absences make life a little less fun. Like a swear jar, I have a Biden gaffe jar. (I’m only seven gaffes away from a plasma TV).

My concern was real.

I feared he might have fallen asleep somewhere without a working alarm or was possibly caught in the Dupont Circle roundabout in Washington, D.C. looking for the his opportunity to exit onto Massachusetts Avenue. (It’s not easy being Joe). True, there’s always Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi to induce a good chuckle (or acid reflux), but no one quite embodies cerebral cobwebs and tumbleweeds like our new Vice President.

And so it was, that during a visit to the CIA on Thursday to swear in Leon Panetta as the agency’s new director, that Vice President Biden demonstrated why liberals simply cannot be trusted with matters of national security. Speaking at the CIA headquarters in Langley, Virginia, Biden said the Bush administration’s intelligence policies “gave Al Qaeda a powerful recruiting tool.”

Among his many soaring talents – plagiarism, for example – is not only his ability to show how classless he is by openly criticizing a previous administration’s policies (that have kept us safe for seven years), but his knack of grasping real world situations with the skill-set of a college freshman in a “World Cultures” class.

Think about the unbending brilliance of what the Veep is saying here. Because of President Bush and his beastly, mean-spirited, hideous, inhumane, war-hungry intelligence policies, otherwise peaceful or agnostic Muslims who most likely spent their days watching soccer matches on televisions at the local hookah bar were suddenly inspired to become bomb-strapping, baby-killing, plane smashing evil terrorists. Bush’s policies weren’t just your everyday off-the-rack recruiting tool – they were a powerful recruiting tool.

This malformed, gullible – and frankly, dangerous – way of thinking suggests that the opposite must be true – that is, treating members of Al Qaeda (or any terrorists) with the utmost kindness and consideration will keep recruitment low and work toward forging peace.

It’s Democrat-speak.

How about looking at Guantanamo Bay to see how a fuzzy-bunny approach works toward subduing human debris?

The prisoners there, by all accounts – including one of the most fascinating and comprehensive looks at Gitmo written by Colonel Gordon Cucullu in a book called Inside Gitmo: The True Story Behind the Myths of Guantanamo Bay are afforded everything they request. Their comfort levels are tended to with a degree of consideration rivaling some high-end health spas in the United States. These vermin are treated far better than they deserve to be by the highly trained and stupendously disciplined guards of Gitmo – who for their good work, are regularly pelted with feces, semen, urine and are often subject to physical abuse.

Bush must’ve really made them mad.

How dare the Cowboy from Crawford disrupt the halo and falafel garden parties that were taking place in the Islamic world before America’s intelligence policies became a powerful recruiting tool.

Thus, as we have seen during the new administration’s first month of command, the responsible road to travel – the way to truly ensure American safety – is to order the facility at Guantanamo Bay closed, put an end to “harsh interrogation methods,” make it mandatory for the CIA to report all “detainees” to the Red Cross, order the cessation of CIA secret overseas detention programs, and state publicly, with the world watching, that the United States was wrong to make the poor terrorists angry.

We’ll do better this time.

That’ll make them love us.

(That sound you hear is laughter cascading from terror cells the world over).

Oh yeah … and one other thing … Biden also said:

The proliferation of dangerous weapons and technologies threatens our security. New challenges to the established order, such as climate change and other not yet known to us challenges, will emerge.

Actually, the proliferation of terrorist thugs who need to be dead, as well as bad value systems, threaten our security, Mr. Biden.

But probably not as much as climate change … or second-hand smoke.



  1. llabesab said

    Obama will soon be gone so don’t fret too much. He will soon be forgotten. His neck will suffer an irreversible malady from the rapid swings from left to right as he tries to keep up with the teleprompters. What’s the name of that “syndrome?” You know, the one typists are supposed to have? Neck muscles are even more vulnerable.

  2. Khorum said

    Biden’s one of the most dangerous sort of politician this country’s ever known: A Democrat who thinks he understands national security. Those kinds of democrats got us into Vietnam then promptly micromanaged the war for purely political reasons.

    A genuine fear is that the Obama administration will attempt something excruciating similar in Afghanistan and Iraq, using modern tools to prosecute a “limited war” for political objectives by nominating targets from the White House a’la LBJ and McNamara.

  3. Gordon Cucullu said

    Appreciate your supportive reference to my book ‘Inside Gitmo’. Over the course of five visits to Guantanamo during a three-year research and interview process I am convinced that it is the most humane – and incredibly valuable – intelligence/detention facility ever constructed. That the men and women serving there endure terrible abuse is no longer a secret – except to anti-Gitmo activists and compliant media sources. It is long past time that the American public acknowledges and recognizes the service these uniformed members have made to our safety. Restoring their unfairly tarnished reputation was a major motivation for my writing the book. Thanks for calling attention to this message. As a means of backing up what I wrote and offering a continuing research vehicle on Guantanamo, I offer my companion web site as a source for continuing, updated info on Gitmo and a vehicle to express civil discourse. Keep up your good work.

  4. Mia said

    Joe Biden is the only “bright” spot in this administration. We can’t laugh at Oblahma because we’ll be labeled a racist and have Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson on our doorstep quicker than we can say “spendulous.” Besides, Obumba isn’t funny…he’s scary. I just love it when Biden opens his mouth to say anything, though. Especially when Dear Leader is there looking over his shoulder and giving Joe that Chicago gangsta look that says he wishes he could fit Joe with a pair of cement shoes and throw him off a pier – which he would probably do, but someone would probably notice Biden’s absence…eventually anyway.

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