Roman Around

combating liberalism and other childish notions

TOO COLD TO BE ANYTHING BUT GLOBAL WARMING

Posted by Andrew Roman on December 21, 2008

global_warming_or_global_coolingAdmittedly, the ornery side of me wonders if every now and again, from the privacy of his organically constructed eco-friendly multimedia room, Al Gore lets loose with a “Dammit!” or two (or maybe something with a little more octane) when he hears about the debilitating ice storms plaguing entire sections of the country.

You’d think Gore would be grinding the enamel off his teeth when stories about snowstorms in Las Vegas and New Orleans cross the wire. I could even see him pouting like a baby aboard his private jet (the one that whisks him from disaster seminar to disaster seminar) after reading about record-breaking low temperatures being reported across the globe.

Poor Tipper.

I pray she isn’t left to take the brunt of his frustrations as the frosty repercussions of a planet on the brink of Global Warming calamity continue to mount.

“Can I get you anything, Al, honey?

“Dammit, bring me my maps, Tipper!

The fact is … Global Warming is producing one hell of a wintry weekend from sea to shining sea.

Damn you, Global Warming! Why do you smite us?

Of course, I am way out-of-step.

I’m still stuck in the moth-eaten age of “Global Warming.” We’ve now evolved into a new heterogeneous era of “Global Climate Change,” where every conceivable computer model predicts every conceivable meteorological scenario to be the result of man’s inhumanity to the environment – even if it isn’t warming, and even if it isn’t global.

That way, human beings can feel guilty about themselves no matter what they do.

The reality is … the hysterical left (along with a few in the McCain/Schwarzenegger wing of the Republican Party) doesn’t bother with the observable to draw conclusions. They know that the debate is over. The Messiah himself has said so. Climate change is real, and there’s nothing we can do to stop it, even though it’s in our best interest to act quickly before it’s too late, regardless of the fact that we’re helpless to save ourselves, unless we start thinking green right now.

How exactly will the warming affect us on Sunday?

Through Sunday, 3 to 6 inches is forecast in Minnesota and lower Michigan and up to a couple of inches in northern Illinois, with cold winds gusting to 40 mph creating areas of blowing and drifting snow that will reduce visibility and create hazardous winter driving conditions.

The storm will intensify on Sunday as it moves to the East Coast, producing heavy snow across the Northeast interior. As much as a foot of snow will fall from northeast New York into northern New England and Canada’s Maritime Provinces.

Boston will get another blast of heavy snow, with 3 to 6 inches forecast in the city, before a change to rain at the height of the storm.

The New York City metropolitan area will likely get a mix of snow, ice and rain, while Philadelphia will deal with an icy mix changing to rain in the morning. After getting mostly rain on Friday, Pittsburgh will be hit with up to a few inches of snow Sunday.

Parts of the Upper Midwest are expected to experience wind chills in the -40 degree range. Even Chicago is expected to feel like it’s below zero.

Is there anyone out there, by a show of hands, who wouldn’t like a little bit of genuine global warming right about now?

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One Response to “TOO COLD TO BE ANYTHING BUT GLOBAL WARMING”

  1. Robbins Mitchell said

    anAL GOREtentive

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