Roman Around

combating liberalism and other childish notions


Posted by Andrew Roman on November 28, 2008

obama-cookiesForget government bailouts. Scrap tax cuts. Toss into the political incinerator all of those Clinton-era advisors and gurus who are now part of the “Yes We Can” team – and Paul Volcker too.

It’s all ishkabibble.

The real solution to the economic ills that have beleaguered the United States – and the world – is to simply say that a product or service is loved by “The One” – Barack Obama.

Then, look out!

Amy Lorentzen of the Associated Press writes:

Want an example of the change Barack Obama is bringing to the country?

Check out cookie sales at Baby Boomers Cafe in Des Moines.

Ever since word spread about the president-elect and his family’s fondness for Baby Boomers’ chocolate chunk cookies, the small downtown restaurant can’t bake them fast enough.

“Two months ago I was giving these cookies away,” said co-owner Rodney Maxfield. “Now, it’s like ‘I need two dozen cookies. I need four-dozen cookies.'”

The Obamas became frequent visitors to the cafe last summer when the Illinois senator devoted much of his time to Iowa, where the state’s precinct caucuses kick off the presidential nominating process. Obama’s main office was next door to Boomers, and his staff made the cafe a second home.

“I think everybody just … thought, ‘Oh, great cookie, great president—the world is a happy place. Barack’s going to fix all the problems and if I have a bite of this cookie it’s going to make me feel good,'” Maxfield said.

Now, I’m inspired.

How about this for another revenue generating idea …

Start circulating more pictures of the next President smoking his cigarettes.

obama marlboroThen, get some Madison Avenue whiz kid with Photoshop skills to create a shock and awe media campaign geared toward the 18-39 set – something like “OBAMA BE SMOKIN’!” … or “NEWPORT FOR A NEW AMERICA!

Then, get Democrats in states like New York to boost the cigarette tax yet again – to something like $10.50 a pack. (And be sure to hire additional mail Nazis to keep out-of-state cigarettes from being smuggled in).

Just watch sales sky-rocket!

In every house in Obama’s America – or, at least, in the lower 95% of wage earning homes – a chicken in every pot, someone else’s tax dollars in every wallet and a Marlboro Light dangling from every mouth.

Even tobacco farmers would be raking in the green.

Sales for phlegm reducing medications would see a serious spike – eventually.

Everyone wins, baby.


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